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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

30 letters in 30 days - day 4

Dear Mom,

In many ways, I hope that I've grown up to be just like you, and in other ways, I'm terrified that I've grown up to be just like you.

As a child, I remember how giving of yourself you always seemed to be.  You would dress up in crazy costumes and pass out trinkets, be it flags when you were Betsy Ross, or candy candles as Mrs. Clause, there was always something.  I can't remember a single holiday that you didn't have a costume for.  As a teenager, it embarassed the bejesus out of me.  As an adult, I appreciate it so much more.  It wasn't even about me - it was about making someone else's day.  I love that about you, and I hope I do the same things for others that you always did.

I'm also scared of being like you.   As you, and I, got older, you were sick - all the time.  But hardly really sick...I think you craved the attention and I think other parts of your life got so overwhelming that being sick was a way to deal with those things.  I'm scared the same will be true for me, if it's not already.  I pray I will have the strength to deal with the real issues in my life and not use my MS as an excuse for living. 

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