365 posts

32. What do we all have in common besides our genes that makes us human?
I think emotions.  We all feel happy, sad, confused, scared, overwhelmed, elated and defeated.  Everyone feels the whole range.  Some might feel more of one than another, but we all feel everything.  No matter how hard we try to not show some of them.

33. If you could choose one book as a mandatory read for all high school students, which book would you choose?
To Kill a Mockingbird.  It's by far my favorite book, and the movie is pretty good too.  In every stage of my life that I have read it, I have found some new meaning and hope for the world.  It's not horrible to read, like Shakespear, for example, but straight forward and shares a basic message that everyone should be exposed to.

34. Would you rather have less work or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Well, I enjoy my work, and I guess it's quite a bit of work, although not over the top.  But I think with MS, I couldn't handle more work.  So, to answer this, I guess I would have to say less work, but I also wouldn't like less work that I did not enjoy.  I'm content with my career right now, I think.

35. What is important enough to go to war over?
Gosh, I wish there would never be war.  I'd say religion has been a big cause of war for as long as there has been war.  I think that's ridiculous and different religions should work on respecting each other, rather than fighting over who is right.

I think oppression of humans is a noble reason to go to war, but who is to say what is oppressing.  The most articulate leaders are the ones who convince large groups of people they are right.  Looking back, there is no doubt that Hitler was the ultimate oppressor, yet so many people followed him and fought to keep his way going.

36. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
I think, obviously, its never trying.  But I am still more apt to not try something that is probable I will fail.  I don't know if that is human nature, or just Heidi nature, but it's true.

37. When was the last time you listened to the sound of your own breathing?
Actually, fairly recently, in Tai Chi.  I was keenly aware of that fact that I was breathing whistle-ly.  I'm getting that mid winter stuffed up feeling and in Tai Chi I noticed it.  

38. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
That's a difficult one actually.  I think sleep.  I'm so particular about my sleeping position and routine, yet so random.  I remember as a child, sharing a bed with my grandmother, and being amazed that she slept on her back, all right with never moving.  I can't do that.  I turn a lot, but always have to end up in one specific position on either side.

39. What does ‘The American Dream’ mean to you?
I think it means very little to me.  I think it applies more to first and second generation Americans.  It's not something I have ever thought about in a personal sense.  I think though, it means the ability to try anything.  You can be what you want and believe what you want.  Of course, money is always helpful.

40. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
I thin genius.  I feel like I used to be very intelligent and sharp, and since the onset of MS. I feel slow and dumb a lot of the time.  Although, I wouldn't like to be worried all the time, I would like my logical thinking back.

41. If you could instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would you give?
You are loved.  Always, by someone.  When you have those moments that everyone has, know that deep down, you are a valuable person and worth a lot to everyone.

42. What is the most desirable trait another person can possess?
Compassion

43. What are you most grateful for?
That I live in a country, world, time period that I can get medical care, mental health care and educational opportunities as I need.

44. Is stealing to feed a starving child wrong?
Wasn't there a musical that really came down to this thought?  Stealing is not right, but neither are starving children, or people, for that matter.  I think there should be systems in place to make sure no child starves and then no one would have to steal to feed them.

365 posts

25. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do what you know is right?

I think its always the time.  But it's so hard to do.  This question is impossible, because there is always a moment to calculate rewards and risks, and a moment to just do what is right.  I guess, its always better to do what is right and not spend time thinking or worrying about risk and rewards.  

26. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

In many ways, I think I'd be young.  I have the personality of someone in their early 20's.  But my body physically, would be in it's 50's, I'm sad to say.

27. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

I definitly would.  I'm analytical, and I'd try to work within the confines of the law, but if I had to, I'd break it.    I'm not sure what laws I would break. Speeding seems the most likely.  I'm not certain that there's many laws I'd face that would help someone I loved.

28. What makes you smile?

Memories.  Great memories of summer camp, of people I admire or enjoy to be with.  Moments when I am proud or feel accomplished.  Cute puppies.  Gilmore Girls.

29. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

I don't think so.  I try to do a lot of what I say.  I tend to, try at least, practice what I preach.  

30.If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?  Be accepting.  Tolerate others.  Learn to celebrate diversity.  In all aspects.  If someone doesn't agree with you, that doesn't make them a bad person.  That just means you have a difference of opinion.  That's ok.  Agree to Disagree.

31.  If the average human lifespan was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

Wow.  I'd be almost dead by now, or at least facing mortality in the fairly soon future.  I think I would have spent more time worrying about having a partner or children.  Right now, I still see time for those things and while I'm pretty sure I don't want children or my own, it's not out the question yet.  

365 posts

16. Have you done anything lately worth remembering?
No, I can't say I have.  I've been a little petty lately.  I'm not proud of that, and I suppose that is memorable, but not for a good thing.  Tai Chi maybe, that will be worth remembering I guess.  Maybe it will turn into a lifetime thing.  Maybe.

17. What does your joy look like today?
Children.  Children having fun, learning, taking risks, and enjoying life.   That's joy, pure and simple.

18. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?
Yes, definitely.  Not saying something is also a lie.  Especially when it's something that you should be saying. Sometimes we do it to protect ourselves and other times we do it to protect others, but its still a lie.

19. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?
Not long at all.  Geez, I speak so horribly to myself.  I can't imagine even making a friend that treated me the way I treat myself.

20. Which activities make you lose track of time?
Reading, surfing the internet, scrapbooking, talking with friends

21. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
I would teach camp related things.  My best memories and life moments came from teaching staff during training and during the summer.  I loved teaching them how to teach, how to work with behavior problems, how to do their jobs.  It was the best time of my life.

22. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?
Multiple Sclerosis?  I'd love to not have that in my life.  I think maybe I'll regret the single life.  I like it now.  In fact, I prefer it now, but maybe one day, I'll get lonely.

23. Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?
Anger - with myself, my friends, my family.  Jealously with all the same people.

24. When you are 80-years-old, what will matter to you the most?

My health.  I hope it will be good by then!

365 posts

Back again!

9. What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree?
I guess there's a lot of things I believe and other disagree, but then again, those same things, there are plenty of others that agree.  Politics, religion, all those controversial things - they would fit.

I guess my future, I seem to disagree.  I feel like I will be alone forever, and that is the way it is meant to be.  I'm fairly content with it.  Most people think that's just hopelessness talking and that I'll find someone and be better off with them.  I disagree.  I am good on my own, and I don't have to worry about becoming a burden to someone.

10.  What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?
I'd have to say open up in therapy.  I used to keep so much to myself, that really, there was no point whatsoever in going.  With this therapist though, who I've been seeing almost a year, I'm much more likely to open up.  I'm fairly proud of that.  I think that it's going to turn into being more honest and open with my friends.\

11. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?
Well, for others, I think its a great thing, when they can cry.  I think it's a great release for them.  For me, I think it's a good release.  I feel better after a good cry.  But, for me personally, I feel like crying in front of others, its weak and I hate doing it.

12. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I would handle my MS differently.  I would be more honest with people about what I really think and feel about it.  I'm mostly honest on my blog, cause well, no one I know irl knows about it.  But to those I know in real life, they know very little about how I really feel about MS.  If I knew I wouldn't be judged, I'd be more honest about it.

13. Do you celebrate the things you do have?
No, not nearly enough.  I have amazing friends, a brother and sister that are better than no other, a roof over my head, a kind landlord, enough money for what I need (although, more would always be nice!), a supportive boss, a job with wonderful staff and kids (mostly) and most of the time, I focus on what I don't have.  I want to get much better at celebrating the good things!

14. What is the difference between living and existing?
Living is enjoying all that life has to offer.  Existing just happens.  Everyone exists, but not everyone truly lives.  Living is necessary for a fulfilling life!

15. If not now, then when?
That's a question I need to ask myself daily.  It's a great motivator and a great way to approach each day.

365 posts

I've determined, posting one question a day is going to get very difficult.  Perhaps I shall do them in bunches :)  That will be a bit more manageable.

4. What gets you excited about life?
The promise of potential.  Anything can happen at any time, and I'm usually excited about that.  I'm not talking about the bad stuff - I mean the good things.  Great things can happen every single day and I look forward to the little surprises life has to offer.

5. What life lesson did you learn the hard way?
That would definitely be what happens when you mess with friends and relationships. I hurt someone I deeply cared about, and although we're civil to each other when we see each other, the friendship is no longer there.  She was someone I considered a good friend, and now she's barely an acquaintance.

6. What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago? 
5 years ago, I was in college again.  I was a great student, but I will I made more social connections.  I always felt out of place, because I was the "old" returning to school student, but I think it let me avoid things too.  I could have done more, met more people...made some other friends.

7. Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?
I think I'm pretty good at asking questions, especially about subjects that interest me.  I like to learn.  It excites me.  I guess there are things I could ask more questions about things I don't care so much about to learn, but, that's kind of life.

8. Who do you love and what are you doing about it?
I think I'm pretty unlovable these days.  There is one person that I will always love, I reckon, but I'm not doing anything about it.  I can't and shouldn't.

Interestingly enough, I took that question to mean romantic love.  I love lots of people in a friend love way.  I should make sure to appreciate them more.  That would be good, but I think I also tell them that I love them.

365 posts

3. What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?

You won't die from MS.  You will die with MS.

I was completely scared about MS.  I had no idea what to expect, or what it meant.  It felt very much like a death sentence.  I didn't know which way was up and I felt like I was just sucked punched.  I was so ridiculously scared.

My doctor said this and it put a whole lot into perspective.

365 posts

2. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?

I compare myself to a lot of people actually.  It's never good, but I compare myself to my coworkers, my friends, my boss, even strangers.  Generally, I see the really good things about them and the not-so-good things about myself.  I guess its a good way of looking at the world, but not a good way to internalize it.  

If I am looking at someone else poorly, and think I'd better, stronger, whatever, then I only end up feeling bad about myself.  It's kind of a no-win there.

365 questions in a year

1. When was the last time you tried something new?

Well, I tried some new foods on New Year's Eve.  I guess that counts.  I also tried the water aerobics class at my Y before Christmas break.  I enjoyed that, and will do it again.  Other than that, haven't tried a lot of new things lately.

My goal, within this month, will be to try something new.  Perhaps knitting - that's not new, but something I haven't done in a really long time.  I'd like to get back into it.  So, I shall knit again - and learn a new stitch, so it counts for something new.