Secrets are too shameful, painful, terrifying, overwhelming, disintegrating and unbearable to speak out loud in case it makes it real, in case we have to relive them all over again.

I've been talking with my therapist quite a lot about the things I don't want to share with her.

The plus side of this is that I'm able to be pretty straight up with her about the fact that I'm not sharing everything.

And I'm not really lying. I'm just leaving out pertinent information. I'll eventually get to it though. Or at least so far I have.

She was concerned about why I feel the need to leave stuff out. There's 16 million reasons really. I didn't have one for her though.

She asked if I felt I needed to entertain her.

No. I mean I don't want to be a boring client, but I'm not worried about making her day. I do worry about being tiresome or hard headed though. If its something we already talked about and I'm still feeling or doing it again, then I feel like I'm an idiot and she's gonna get bored of the same thing over and over.