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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

World Mental Health Day

I blog for World Mental Health Day 

It's Thursday.  Thursday means I'm visiting my therapist.

I often think about what we will talk about Wednesday night.  Sometimes, I forgot I'm going and then stress about what to think of.  I usually have an idea, but often try to avoid talking about that as long as I can.

I enjoy hearing about her.  She's starting her own private practice, and I find it fascinating.  Eventually, when it gets big, I imagine I won't see her anymore.  That thought kind of makes me sad, but for now, I'm not worried about it.  With some luck, I won't need to see her anymore by then anyway.

Tomorrow is my next visit.  I haven't been feeling physically well lately, MS related and most likely a kidney infection.  I'm choosing not to treat it.  That's totally a mental health issue and while I'd be content to bring it up, I know I really should.

I don't know what she is going to say.  I'm quite positive she will want me to call my doctor.  I know she won't understand why I don't want to, and if I try to explain it, I'm going to end up crying.  I realize therapy is a great place to cry and yadda yadda yadda, but I HATE crying in there.   She doesn't judge or anything if I do, just offers some Kleenex, but still, I HATE it.  It feels awkward and ridiculous.

I'm going to have to find the courage to bring this up tomorrow - and then hope for the best. I can't even predict where or how the conversation will go.

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