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Thursday, December 29, 2011


Something came up tonight that has come up recently as well. My cousin said to me, "you are always in conrol, your emotions are always stable."

This past summer, I was critized for the same thing. When I was mad or aggitated, no one knew it. I was always in control of it and just dealt with the situation.

But, that was work. I am meant to be like that at work. I'm the boss. The boss should not be hot headed. At least, I don't think she should.

When my cousin said it though, I really thought about it. My own family thinks that about me. The problem is, I don't think that about me.

I feel like I'm a mess inside. Everything in my head is so jumbled, and I feel like, metaphorically, I don't know which way is up. I'm just trying to get through each day, and yet, to others I come off as stable. Interesting.

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