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Sunday, February 5, 2012

superbowl? I don't like baseball.

It's superbowl Sunday. That means everyone I know is watching the game. I, on the other hand, am catching up on Tivo. I like the commercials, but I can watch them online later, without all the pesky football in between.

I learned, or rather remembered something today. A long time ago, I was seeing a therapist. I was seeing her for a variety of things, but mainly that I was struggling with despression.

She was nice enough. I kept going, but really wondered how effective it was.

Then one day I had my appointment while some camp folks were staying at my house. They were from Australia, had traveled the country after camp, and were staying with me for a few days before flying home. I brought them with me to this appointment, because it was in downtown West Hartford. There were lots of stores and such and they'd have fun shopping.

As we got there, we noticed that most of the stores were closed. It was a Monday night, and they apparently closed at 6. I wasn't sure what they would do, but they saw a bar that was open. We laughed, as they were sterotypical Aussies, and were always willing to kill time in a bar.

As I walked into my appointment, I was laughing to myself (and probably talking to myself too!). This office was inside an indoor shopping plaza. There were various stores (all closed), plus the doors for this office. Outside the office, there was a little wall, with stones and plants behind it. Typical mall decor.

Anyway, as I'm walking, I notice that I smell smoke. Cigarette smoke, which is odd, cause I'm indoors. Definitly a no smoking place. I saw my therapist sitting on the wall, smoking a cigarette.

That is totally against the rules, I'm sure. It was cool. And I was still laughing from the previous interaction with my friends. We went up to her office, and she commented on the complete change of mood in me.

That brings me to today. I spent most of yesterday feeling sorry for myself. Annoyed with life, MS and all that is entailed. I've thought a lot about my upcoming neurologist appointment, and what exactly I'm going to say to her. Not much productive happened.

Then this morning, I had a plan to meet a friend for breakfast at Friendly's. She not a particularly close friend, but we organized it. Just going out for an hour was amazing for my mood. I feel like I am thinking more clearly and definitly in a better space.

Friends is the solution to depression. I'm convinced.

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