What do you strive for most in your life: accomplishment, security, love, power, excitement, knowledge, or something else?
Something else - at least for now. I am striving to like myself. I hate to admit it, but I think I just have horrible self esteem right now. In the end, that is what it all boils down to.
At work, I don't do as well as I could, because I'm afraid to fail. It's kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy.
With MS, I feel like I am less of a person now.
With friends, I don't want to tell them anything about what I really feel, because I am afraid of how they will really see me.
With relationships, I feel like they are destined to fail since I am so miserable. I don't even want to think about one, since I know I'll ruin it.
In therapy, I'm scared about what she'll think of me. So I avoid all the things that make it known how much I really hate me.