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Sunday, August 19, 2012

The earth has no grass to fall to, when its having a bad day...

I'm pretty certain there is someone bad MS coming my way. 

My left arm is numb and has been for a couple weeks now.  I'm having some trouble peeing again.  And most importantly, I'm in such a bad mood.  I was thinking it was just me, but its not.  It's something that is really wrong. 

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Not all those who wander are lost...

I'm not liking where my thoughts are going lately and I'm trying very hard to not be too consumed by them.  It would be quite easy to write a pathetic entry about how I'm feeling, but I'm trying to focus on something good.  So, I will write about a child that really left an impact on me at camp.

For blogging purposes, I'll call him Tommy.

Tommy was too old for our program.  He was 13, and we advertise that we only go up to 12.  His mom registered late and it was all very last minute, and I didn't notice until he was there.  Once I met him, it was pretty clear Tommy could find right into our program.  In fact, he played like a 6 year old.  He was the size of a 13 year old though, and I had to constantly remind him to be gentle with the little guys.

He reminded me of my brother.  His looks, his behavior, his interests, even the way he walked, was like my brother.  His health form listed a plethora of diagnoses, and my brother was only diagnosed as Asperger's, but none the less, Tommy could have been my brothers twin, except 10 years younger.

The other staff didn't like him much.  In fact, one of them said she was scared of him.  He had angry outbursts.  When he was in trouble, it was pretty common for him to yell, "I hate you.  Leave me alone!"  It didn't make me scared though.  And after he calmed down, he always apologized, on his own, without any prompting.

He had his troubles outside of camp, no doubt.  See, the first day of camp, children bring lunches that are the same as what they would pack for school.  Except your physical activity at camp is so much greater then at school, and children are always hungry the first day.  They make sure their parents know, and they always have much larger lunches and snacks the second day.  Tommy was no exception.  On his second day, I commented to him upon seeing the three lunch boxes his mom packed (labeled morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack), that his mom hooked him up with food today!  His response:

"What, do you work for DSS?" I could tell the sort of home life he had.

Yet, there was something about him.  He did have a huge heart and he was so forgiving.  If kids would tease him, he always forgave them and would play with them later.  He may get angry in the heat of the moment, but always calmed down and forgave anything.  He was never violent at all. 

Tommy is the kind of child camp is made for.  That boy inspires me.

So, tell me, where does the arrow point to, and who invented roses?

It's quite possible that in less than 10 minutes, I lost a $10,000 grant. But, in my defense, I was honest. The grant is only for 6-8th graders and we applied for k-5th grade. I don't know what the grant writer told her, but I'm not gonna lie about it.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

summer is ending

My camp is over.  We ran for three weeks, had about 22 campers a week, and it was the most amazing experience ever.  After the first week, I felt very good.  I felt like I could do anything and life was amazing.  MS didn't matter, because I was doing what I love and loving what I do.

Now that three weeks are over, I'm exhausted.  I feel like MS is ruling my life and I can't do anything I want to do.  I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, and generally annoyed with everything.  I need to get a new and better mindset, cause this is very unproductive.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

7th Annual MS bike run!

Today was the bike run again, and this year, I got someone to ride me :)  The condition was based on weather, but it was beautiful and off we went.  It was my very first time ever on a motorcycle and I had an absolute blast!

I was cramped a bit and my legs hurt from sitting that way, but all in all, it wasn't bad.  I totally could be a biker chick if I wanted.  I think I'd be rather cute at it.

The unfortunate thing is that the MS nurse, my favorite human being ever, wasn't there.  I thought she would be, and I'm a little worried about her.  She hasn't been at the clinic the last few times I've been there either.

So, the actual ride was a little over an hour, but it took us two hours to get to the starting place and then another two home at the end, so really, it was like a 5 hour ride.

The weather held out for most of it.  It started to rain just as we got to the end place.  Then cleared up, and we bailed early to make it home before the real storms.

Right after we took off, another shower came through.  We were soaked.  But that shower quickly passed and riding on the highway dried us off pretty quickly.

About 5 minutes after we got home a huge storm rolled in.  Thunder, lightening, the works.  I was rather shocked we didn't lose power! 

But we made it all safely, and I have successfully checked an item off my bucket list!