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Monday, February 27, 2012

long week

Last week was crazy. It was a short week, but school vacation was nuts. We ran a program for a lot of kids....much more than usual. It was crazy! I am still exhausted. I slept all weekend and still today I was dragging.

That, and I'm walking funny. It's very weird. I kinda feel like its a just a funny, "I'm getting old walk," but then again, I'm not really that old and I have MS. So who knows?

In other news, my favorite candy - and I've got two bags of them :)

Monday, February 20, 2012

I don't know if I'll make it, but watch how good I'll fake it

Ugh, my back is hurting again. I really think its something MS related, but my doctor does not. I'm gonna trust her. But its annoying.

So, I did make my doctor laugh when I was there last week. I'm a pretty funny person (if I do say so myself). I tend to crack jokes randomly in conversations with everyone. I'm not obnixious about it, just enough to make someone smile.

I say whatever I think when I'm talking to her and usually, she doesn't acknowledge it. I'm not sure if she just doesn't find me funny or doesn't get that I'm making a joke.

Anyway, last time I was there, I told her about how great I was feeling mentally since starting the Zoloft.

I told her, "You said it would take two weeks to work....well, I felt better in like 10 minutes."

That's when she laughed. I also told her though that about a month after I started it, I felt really good. I feel like I did before I had MS. I feel like I can get through a day and get done what I need to get done.

Now, my legs are driving me nutty. When I was little, my best friends older brother used to pull off my barbie's legs and put them back on the wrong side. That's how my leg it was taken off and put back on backwards.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Doctors office

I'm waiting at the doctors office. Shes running behind, which is pretty normal for her. I expect it, and know its cause she's so patient. She takes the time she needs with patients. I appreciate that and know that's why she is late. I'm ok with it.

There's this guy here that's being an ass about it. He needs to get over it. Deal. It's a doctors office, of the best neurologist in mass.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Camp Orange is finally a reality!

When I was an undergrad, I took a class called "Camp Management and Administration."

The final project in the course was to create a camp. I had to create a budget, programming plans, risk management plans, and the whole nine yards. Camp Orange was amazing. I had so much fun on that final project. My Camp Orange (I should mention that has nothing to do with MS, it's my favorite color. This was long before I was diagnosed with MS) was the most amazing camp anywhere. It was a multi-billion dollar operation. We had it all.

I've been bumming about not being involved with camp summer. It turns out, my Y wants to start a new camp program in a small little town in Western MA. I'm ridiculously excited about it.

And of course, I've named it Camp Orange. Really, what did they expect to happen. They told me to create a camp and provided no name. Of course it's going to be Camp Orange!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

focus group fun!

I participated in this MS focus group thing tonight. It was pretty fun. I had to agree not to disclose anything, so I'm not even sure if I can post even what it was about. But it was MS. That's enough. It was fun, and I get a $25 Amazon gift card for participating.

I also heard back from Avonex, cause I couldn't log on to the Active Support website. They reset my password and I was finally able to log off after MONTHS. I took the little test, which saves my answers from previously - and I'm in a way better mental space than I was a couple months ago.

All in all, its been good. Work stinks. Everytime things get under control, something crazy happens. I can deal with it all tomorrow. Tonight is good!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

superbowl? I don't like baseball.

It's superbowl Sunday. That means everyone I know is watching the game. I, on the other hand, am catching up on Tivo. I like the commercials, but I can watch them online later, without all the pesky football in between.

I learned, or rather remembered something today. A long time ago, I was seeing a therapist. I was seeing her for a variety of things, but mainly that I was struggling with despression.

She was nice enough. I kept going, but really wondered how effective it was.

Then one day I had my appointment while some camp folks were staying at my house. They were from Australia, had traveled the country after camp, and were staying with me for a few days before flying home. I brought them with me to this appointment, because it was in downtown West Hartford. There were lots of stores and such and they'd have fun shopping.

As we got there, we noticed that most of the stores were closed. It was a Monday night, and they apparently closed at 6. I wasn't sure what they would do, but they saw a bar that was open. We laughed, as they were sterotypical Aussies, and were always willing to kill time in a bar.

As I walked into my appointment, I was laughing to myself (and probably talking to myself too!). This office was inside an indoor shopping plaza. There were various stores (all closed), plus the doors for this office. Outside the office, there was a little wall, with stones and plants behind it. Typical mall decor.

Anyway, as I'm walking, I notice that I smell smoke. Cigarette smoke, which is odd, cause I'm indoors. Definitly a no smoking place. I saw my therapist sitting on the wall, smoking a cigarette.

That is totally against the rules, I'm sure. It was cool. And I was still laughing from the previous interaction with my friends. We went up to her office, and she commented on the complete change of mood in me.

That brings me to today. I spent most of yesterday feeling sorry for myself. Annoyed with life, MS and all that is entailed. I've thought a lot about my upcoming neurologist appointment, and what exactly I'm going to say to her. Not much productive happened.

Then this morning, I had a plan to meet a friend for breakfast at Friendly's. She not a particularly close friend, but we organized it. Just going out for an hour was amazing for my mood. I feel like I am thinking more clearly and definitly in a better space.

Friends is the solution to depression. I'm convinced.